How I stopped being a control freak by following Intuition

Losing control is the scariest thing in the world for me. It's my personal trauma-response trigger which could cause an inexplicable outburst of anger or tears. Those outbursts are definitely not logical and rarely proportional to the situation.

 But taking away control takes away safety. And that creates an immediate response in the nervous system.

 Having control over your body gives you a mental boost.
‘‘I'm all-powerful.’’
‘‘I do it well.’’

Looking back at my early years of yoga practice, I can see it clearly. The control over my body was giving me instant gratification. I was in charge. I could mould my body to any shape I wished.

 It didn't matter that my body complained quietly. I was doing poses taught by a guru, so it had to be good for me.
The body had its way of telling me a loud NO eventually. At that point, I began unlearning being a control freak.

 I discovered that intuitive movement could be a medicine for my control obsession. I let the body speak to me and opened to intuition. I discovered the joy of movement. The pleasure of embodiment, simply being my body.

 I know that intuitive movement can itself be a trigger. 

 It can create fear:

 ''Am I going to harm myself?''

 That fear comes from mistrust in your own body.
And rather unfounded belief that the experts know better what is good for you.

The body has its own intelligence and plenty of in-built mechanisms to prevent self-harm. It’s far more likely you’re going to hurt yourself doing what someone else told you (disregarding the signals from within) than following your intuition.

 
It can cause anxiety mixed with self-judgement, self -doubt and criticism:

 ''What am I supposed to do?''

’’'How do I know that I am doing it right?''

 The unpredictability could feel unsafe or at least unsettling and disorienting. But as it is YOUR practice, you know you can stop whenever it doesn’t feel good anymore.
The best antidote to self-sabotaging critical thoughts is loving kindness

The beginning of the intuitive movement journey will almost always be challenging. Especially if you find it difficult to feel your body. 

 With baby steps, you can realise that this intuitive, unstructured and unpredictable movement is surprisingly pleasant and effective in releasing tension from your body.
My student just told me she was achy all over after a few days of doing renovations. She gave herself some time to tune into that achiness. She moved in her rhythm in a way that intuitively felt good. And the discomfort was gone. What would be the probability that a led class would address all the places that needed attention? Well, she’d have to be very lucky.

 Thanks to intuitive movement, you slowly build trust in your body. And become more whole.

Ok, so how to start?
Practising with music in the background helps some to get into the flow.
If you have a very ‘structured’ mind you could begin with the ‘try and test’ technique. Begin with any movement you can think of and notice how it feels. If it feels yummy and you’d like to get more of it, go for it!

 Do you still struggle to imagine what it could look like? Check out my guided Intuitive Flow flow videos: here and here
I hope I convinced you to give it a try!