Sam needs something different than Tess
Whether I work therapeutically with people who came to me with chronic anxiety and panic attacks or due to chronic pain, they are usually in two very different situations that require exactly opposite approaches and guidelines.
On one hand, there are people who hang out in the fight-and-flight response. Their anxiety pushes them into activity. They have to do something all the time. And it has to be perfect. Often, it means fulfilling other people's needs. But it could also be a fixation on doing things perfectly well.
They do act because they push themselves hard. But indecision and overthinking are a big part of their lives. Over their lifetime, they worked out plenty of coping strategies to conceal their fears and worries, to be the 'responsible' or the 'reliable' ones. Psychologists like to call it high-functioning anxiety.
The bodies of these people take the toll of living at high speed. The tension sooner or later turns into pain. And due to their tendency to worry, the pain turns into chronic pain. They become their pain.
The chronic pain gets perpetuated and intensifies due to their expectation of pain. Their nervous system becomes hypersensitive. It means that whatever happens in the body will be perceived as multiplied. A bit of air in the intestines sends a warning message to the brain that interprets it as pain. A bit of pressure in the knees comes with the expectation it surely will damage the fragile knees and again brings the message of pain.
Fear of pain and anxiety about the movement requires a specific kind of therapy. A constant encouragement to get towards the edge. Awareness of the sensations as they are, not as they fear them to be.
However, many people created coping mechanisms that mask their sensations and emotions. They might push ahead DESPITE the pain. They consciously ignore the signals from the body to carry on with the same pace of productivity. In this case, I would encourage them to pay attention to the body's signals and respect them. Ignoring all the glaring warning messages could end up - depending on the situation - in injury, a flare-up, or burnout.
The people in a fight-and-flight mode need a short discharge of their emotions. After a natural wind-down, they are ready to return to the rest-and-restore mode.
The problem arises when some of my clients feel they should suppress all their so-called negative emotions. They need to learn how to express the ''good'' anger, the pure energy of this essential emotion. Others never had trouble expressing anger. But they tended to direct it against themselves or others. A healthy expression of anger is necessary for them as well.
The second group of my clients are those in the freeze mode. On the surface, they seem calm. They also rarely complain about pain. But coming out of the freeze mode is complicated. It's more challenging than balancing necessary moments of fight and flight and the ideal default of rest-and-restore.
Staying in the freeze mode means shutting down the sensations and emotions. It's a state of dissociation, feeling disconnected from the body. That survival strategy might be necessary only in extreme life-and-death situations. Getting stuck in the freeze mode is the most harmful. It strips you of emotions, including the joy of life. It makes you feel like a helpless victim. It literally takes away all the life energy.
What we call burnout or chronic fatigue is- from a physiological perspective- adrenal fatigue. Running on adrenaline for far too long eventually depletes it completely. It's like running out of fuel.
People in the freeze mode don't need relaxation or introspective practices like meditation. They need 'shaking up', and reconnecting with the world. They have to release the emotional tension and survival stress stored in their bodies. But first, they need to start feeling their bodies again. Stillness won't do them any good. They need more dynamic approaches.
I'm fully aware that people coming to my group sessions could be in any of these modes, with varying degrees of the severity of their symptoms. It's entirely possible to make every class inclusive and invitational for everybody despite very diverse needs.
But if you see yourself in any of the descriptions and would like to talk with me about working 1-2-1 to resolve those issues with a therapy work tailored SPECIFICALLY to your needs, you can book a 30-minute call HERE.